I'm such a lazy drunk that I had to drive you home because you were so intoxicated that you couldn't walk, let alone drive safely. I'm such a lazy drunk that I had to go to the site you were in to stop a drunken fight between you and your lady. I'm such a lazy drunk that I had to calm other residents down because you woke them up at 2am. As you know, I work 7 days a week, minimum of 12 hour shifts. Yes I wear a badge, it clearly says security enforcement. Yes I carry a weapon for my safety, completely legally I might add. As far as falsely accusing you of anything, you were caught red handed. Perhaps if you didn't drink so much you might remember that. Sincerely, the lazy drunk security guard.